On the surface, forgiveness often seems like it is for the other person, and in many ways, it is! When you are forgiven you tend to feel lighter and happier and that is because the guilt you were feeling for doing a wrong has lifted because the person wronged has moved on and forgiven you. Now let’s focus on being the person wronged. What does it mean to truly forgive someone? When you truly forgive someone, you have empowered yourself to move on and let go. You have accepted that you cannot control anyone’s actions but your own and that with this control and power, you are choosing to let go and move on. Relieving yourself and another person of this weight can bring a lightness and relief that is hard to create in other ways. Having empathy for the other party and knowing that we are human, and we all make mistakes is important to keep in mind. One day you will make a mistake and need forgiveness, and you will have to give this same forgivness to someone else down the road.
Giving forgiveness might not be easy at times, and often cannot be given right away. Sometimes it can take a while, and that is okay. It is okay to take your time and truly forgive someone else, but also, it takes time to forgive ourselves. A lot of the time we forget to cut ourselves some slack and to forgive our own mistakes. In my opinion, forgiving ourselves is one of the hardest things to do, but is also a marker of growth, strength and empowerment. I challenge you this week to think of one thing, big or small that you have done that you feel guilty about and seek forgiveness for it. Not from another person, but rather, from yourself because it is okay to mess up, and it is okay to forgive yourself and move on as ultimately, even if someone else forgives you, true forgiveness comes from within.